


Miscalculate

by spnsmile



Series: Prompt: Coda Pieces [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Coda, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Heavy Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Not Happy, Pain, Unresolved Emotional Tension, coda season 15x18, spn15x18 coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26262859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnsmile/pseuds/spnsmile
Summary: "How do I make it stop, Cas?"Dean's weak, hollowed voice breakthrough Castiel's racing thoughts of a soldier mentally preparing for battle. He was cool, collected even when dragging Dean to the safety of the dungeon, planning to show no fear in the face of death as any angel soldiers were trained to respond in any heavenly battle. It should be okay. The Entity is after him alone and not Dean...he calculates... there was nothing to worry about Dean getting hurt here...
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Prompt: Coda Pieces [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1627993
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Miscalculate

**Author's Note:**

> angel realizing his human's pain -.-

_"How do I make it stop, Cas?"_

Dean's weak, hollowed voice breakthrough Castiel's racing thoughts of a soldier mentally preparing for battle. He was cool, collected even when dragging Dean to the safety of the dungeon, planning to show no fear in the face of death as any angel soldiers were trained to respond in any heavenly battle. It should be okay. The Entity is after him alone and not Dean...he calculates _..._ there was nothing to worry about Dean getting hurt here...

But one look at Dean made him question his initial conclusion, it shattered his resolve.

The word hurt doesn't only morph in Dean's lost expression filled with utter grief, it rids Dean's soul of any light of hope Castiel always counts to see during tight situations. He wanted Dean to be a soldier too, to be the hero that he is-but he forgets the layers that made Dean capable of saving others. The crucial part that made the angel love him for years, and which something no one can ever calculate when it simmers and explodes.

_His emotions._ The way he breaks apart when he lets himself feel... and he _is feeling it. Pure and raw._ Dean's entire being completely succumbs to the darkness of despair numbly repeating the question in silence-

_How do I make it stop?_

It pierced through the angel's disguised calm. Does Dean mean the Entity? Or does he mean stopping whatever was tearing his heart apart? Castiel never wanted this... he... he never wanted to hurt Dean this much, no.

"Dean, promise me you won't do anything stupid..." his voice is hollow. Dean doesn't answer, he stares back blankly, deep in his sense of loss. A gripping fear struck the angel.

"Dean..." he says urgently, stepping close wanting to reach Dean's feeble frame in his hands, convince him it's going to be okay, but afraid the touch would make it all more painful, more real. This is unlike any battle he was trained to fight where his death is noble and meaningful. For the first time, it's not about the mission or the bigger picture, this time it's just about what he sacrificed in turn... that Dean's not only losing him. _He is losing Dean._

_How could he... he never meant..._

Dean's lips quiver, he drops his gaze like a puppet losing a string. Castiel felt more than saw how Dean begins to slip away- so he grabbed Dean's left shoulder and gripped him tightly.

"Dean, look at me!" he half ordered, half pleaded. His voice got through the hazy maze of whatever hell Dean was going through and he looked straight in Castiel's eyes where tantamount pain equal to death hit Castiel before the Entity even blasted the door open. And in the remaining seconds where his grip loses Dean, where he leaves the man broken and alone, Castiel finds himself asking the same thing about the sea of pain he is slowly sinking in... where Dean is already drowning.

_How do I make it stop?_

He doesn't find the answer in the dark.


End file.
